Monday Meme

It’s the Monday after a long and sometimes traumatic weekend and I lost my BFF email buddy so I’m sitting here in my office wallowing in self-pity and looking for anything to do other than tackle the stack of files mysteriously left on my desk over the weekend. (Not mysterious in that I don’t know who did it but mysterious in that the person who did it shouldn’t expect them back and worked on any time soon as I have more important things to do like meme and run to Target to shorten the Christmas shopping list.) I stumbled upon Ree’s list and thought, “What the hell?” I usually talk about Beans here, so here’s a little dose of Momma Bean.

Things you’ve already done: bold
Things you want to do: italicize
Things you haven’t done and don’t want to - leave in plain font

1. Started your own blog - Two and a half of them! One gave birth to this one and the other is withering in the wind.
2. Slept under the stars. Only because of the whole bug thing.
3. Played in a band. Does the Beans’ band count?
4. Visited Hawaii.
5. Watched a meteor shower.
6. Given more than you can afford to charity.
7. Been to Disneyland/World - Been to both!
8. Climbed a mountain. In Puerto Rico. I thought I was going to die.
9. Held a praying mantis. We did this all the time when we lived in Virginia. Do they have any in Michigan??
10. Sang a solo. Um. No.
11. Bungee jumped. Hell to the No!
12. Visited Paris.
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch. Does cooking count? I’m getting better!
15. Adopted a child.
16. Had food poisoning. Reason #1,223 why I will never eat at Chili’s again.
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty. I know I’ve been there but I can’t remember what we did there. I’m giving myself the benefit of the doubt though…
18. Grown your own vegetables.
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France.
20. Slept on an overnight train. - Yes, to Chiang Mai, Thailand.
21. Had a pillow fight. Duh!
22. Hitch hiked. No way!
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill. - I repeat: DUH!
24. Built a snow fort.
25. Held a lamb.
26. Gone skinny dipping.
27. Run a Marathon - I’d like to start running but I think I have to actually start to walk first…
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice.
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset.
31. Hit a home run - Bonus points if it’s for the Tigers!
32. Been on a cruise - I’m not all about being stranded in the middle of the ocean.
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person.
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors - I’ve been to Thailand and Canada, now I’d like to visit Ireland and France.
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language.
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied. - Is anyone ever?
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person.
39. Gone rock climbing.
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David.
41. Sung karaoke. Yes. Several times. Especially in the mid to late 90s.
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt.
43. Bought a stranger a meal in a restaurant.
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight. I may have done this but just in case…
46. Been transported in an ambulance.
47. Had your portrait painted.
48. Gone deep sea fishing.
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person. I would LOVE to see this. Soon, please!
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling.
52. Kissed in the rain.
53. Played in the mud. -
54. Gone to a drive-in theater.
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business - for what, I’m not sure.
58. Taken a martial arts class.
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen.
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching.
63. Gotten flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving.
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp.
67. Bounced a check. Who hasn’t?
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy. Books and my blankie..and a few stuffies.
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar.
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job.
76. Seen the Changing of the Guard in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle.
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person.
80. Published a book.
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car.
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper.
85. Read the entire Bible.
86. Visited the White House. I’m pretty sure I did when we lived there - will have to ask my parents this one.
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating. Fishing….
88. Had chickenpox.
89. Saved someone’s life.
90. Sat on a jury.
91. Met someone famous. I didn’t actually meet him, but I did give up my seat at the movies for him - and got free movie tickets in return! Eminem. We watched that Jodie Foster movie where she is trapped in her house with her daughter…
92. Joined a book club. Though…given my schedule, I either read them way too fast (like in one day) or can’t pick the book up for days at a time. I wouldn’t be a good club member…
93. Lost a loved one.
94. Had a baby.
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit.
98. Owned a cell phone.
99. Been stung by a bee.

***
Everyone is free game here, so if you do this, let me know so I can go check it out!

Can I get a collective “Yippee!!!!”

I may be speaking too soon…but it’s been over a week…and…

The Pie is potty-trained!

I’m not a failure after all!

One down, one to go. And Peanut isn’t going down without a fight.

I’m gonna just revel in this one for several days so that I can muster up the courage to deal with A.

Hooray!!

Air Guitar and Other Developments.

Imagine, if you can, a little sprite, barely over my knees, standing ever so close to me, peering up at me through her crooked bangs, with barely a smile on her pink lips. “Hi Mom,” she says to me, so matter-of-factly. I believe I misheard her. I look down and blink twice. “Hi Mom,” she repeats, louder this time. I crouch down and wrap my arms around her. “Peanut. I’m not your Mom. I’m your Momma. I’m your Mommy.” I insisted. I’m even her “Jeannie” sometimes when she overhears Daddy Bean calling me, but I didn’t remind her of that. But…Mom?

I don’t like it. It doesn’t sit well. I roll the word around in my mouth a bit and shake my head. “Moh-mah!” I say to her slowly. She giggles, finding the trick in this game. “Hi Mom! Hi Mom! Hi Mom” she chants in that little voice that makes you think pink and tulle and baby dolls. I sigh, exasperated, and squeeze her to me as she attempts to unravel herself from my grasp.

And that’s what it feels like. Already. It shouldn’t be happening so soon, but it is. Whenever I feel that this time is slipping away too fast I think about my mother and I wonder if she still feels like there’s not enough time with me still.

Today, M figured out how to escape her pack-and-play. My mom was downstairs talking on the phone with my dad when she heard squeals where there should have been silence. She crept upstairs only to find M out of the safe confines of her bed and peering through the netting of A’s bed. Audie was clearly disappointed that she had yet to learn the new trick. Mom called me up to inform me of this new development and to warn me to get a sturdy gate for the stairs, because surely M would discover that the table nestled quietly between the sisters’ cribs would be a perfect accomplice in her escape. When I arrived at my parents’ house a few hours later, the Pie proudly announced that she had a boo-boo on her head from the daring breakout.

The Pie’s other latest thing is playing air guitar (I am so not kidding. I’ve been trying to get it on video for days.) Meanwhile, her sister’s latest is that she now says, “yes” instead of “yeah,” and she says it with an air of disdain and impatience. Yes, she’s being snarky! And if you try to hard to collect a kiss from Miss A, you’ll only get a shove and an admonishment, “No Momma! No!” Which she also says when Pie’s umpteenth rendition of “Twinkle Twinkle” begins to grate on her nerves.

They’re growing up. They’re developing personalities that are so distinctive that I am bewildered daily that these little people were once just beans on a screen. They don’t get it now, but these little milestones, these developmental achievements that the baby books cheer for, breaks my heart as much as they make it burst with pride. When the Pie walked into the kitchen yesterday and inquired, “What you doin’ Momma?” I chuckled at her spunky delivery and at the same time I was fascinated that she is having conversations with me. I replied to her as if I were discussing my new recipe with a good old friend and before I could finish, she was off to another adventure, but there it was. They’re growing up.

May I have your attention please!

The Pie has made her first deposit! She has dropped her first set of kids off at the pool! She went to the library and returned a book! She went Number Two! She did a doody! Yippee and hooray!

Yes, my first born has accomplished the much anticipated First Poop. In the potty.

As I do everytime I go to the bathroom (and I think it’s written in the Mom Rulebook somewhere), I left the door open so that the Beans could come in and observe. Usually Pie comes in, takes a seat (fully clothed) and chats with me while I’m going, while Peanut only takes a half-hearted interest before she becomes completely bored and wanders off to find more interesting adventures. Lately, Pie will read (or have me read) her potty book to me and will practice “wiping her bottom” with a piece of toilet paper, while I’m doing my business.

But on Tuesday, she came in with a purpose. Her face became a bit puckered and red and she began to clench her fists. I knew this was my golden opportunity! I cheered and asked her, “Maggie, do you want to go potty?” She shook her head desperately that she didn’t, but I began undressing her anyway.

“Pie, you are such a big girl! You’re going to go potty!”

“Okay Momma.” (Tears beginning to well up in her eyes.)

“Good girl, Maggie! Momma is so proud of you! Look at you!”

“I go potty Momma!” (Still crying!)

“Oh, it’s okay honey! Look, I’m going potty too! Momma is going potty just like you are!”

“Okay Momma. Wipe bottom.”

I give her some toilet paper, but she just clenches it, uncomfortable but relieved that it’s over.

“All done Momma. Diaper!!! Diaper on!”

I got myself together and swooped her up into a big hug and wipe away her tears with my kisses.

“Okay, baby, you did so well. We’ll get the diaper.”

“Momma I go potty!!!” She is all smiles again, scooches down me and then runs off, bare bottomed, to tell Sister about her accomplishment.