Winner of the Father of the Year Award
Three years running…
He thought it would be hard, but nothing in his life came easier than this.
Happy Father’s Day, my sweet boy.
Winner of the Mother of the Week Award
Not Momma Bean, who decided to become adventurous and try different! and new! coffee. And had this conversation with her eldest:
MB: “My coffee tastes like ass.”
Pie: “What kind of ass Momma?”
MB: “Never mind.”
Winner of the Mother of the Week Award
Not Momma Bean, who while watching Lost last night, actually dropped the F-bomb when she heard Peanut begin to stir through the monitor. Lucky for the Bean, she held off on the full-on wailing until Eli Stone. (Not a bad show, by the way. Any show that can integrate one of George Michael’s greatest into a major part of their story-line is fine by me.) No one comes between me and Jack Shephard.
Blog Love
I’ve mentioned before that I initially started this blog and its predecessor in order to keep my sisters and my sister-in-law updated on my pregnancy and afterwards the milestones and developments of the Beans, so that they would feel a part of the Beans’ life, even though they are miles away.
Along the way, I’ve learned a trick or two about html, I’ve found favorite writers and even developed a small but loyal following. And, I’ve been presented with wonderful awards that let me know I am loved! Yippee and hooray!
As I believe in karma, I also believe that these amazing women are more deserving of the awards that have been bestowed upon me.
So, to Amanda, Deb and Shawn, I give you the Excellent Blog award. The title speaks for itself.
And to Amber, my fellow Starbucks addict, I give you the I’m Fabulous Award.
Thanks for sharing a bit of your life with me!
WINNER OF THE MOTHER OF THE WEEK AWARD
NOT Momma Bean who, in a fog of Benadryl and Tylenol Cold* and while practicing the art of horizontal parenting, let her eyes linger a little too long on the phrase “Non-Toxic” listed on the label of the Play-Doh container. Don’t worry. The Pie didn’t eat any. She just tasted it. It was hot pink! Who can blame a Bean??
*Birthday pictures and recaps to come, as soon as I stop sneezing.
WINNER OF THE MOTHER OF THE WEEK AWARD
Not Momma Bean who says a little prayer of thanks every day for Charles Feltman and Coburg, Bavaria.
WINNER OF THE MOTHER OF THE WEEK AWARD
Not Momma Bean who, in a moment of complete frustration at seeing her homemade macaroni and cheese (which, she would like to say, was awesome) thrown to the floor (right next to the lunchmeat, apples, olives, bread and cheese cubes) and in an effort to finally push her Beans into the five percentile, gave in and fed her Beans Pop Tarts for dinner.
When asked to comment, she wiped a noodle off her face and stated, “I give up.”
WINNER OF THE MOTHER OF THE WEEK AWARD
Not Momma Bean who constantly fails to maintain the decent hygiene (Hi Jean! Get it?) of her Beans due to absolute laziness. She doesn’t bathe them every day (and may even let two days lapse between baths!), she sometimes forgets to brush their teeth and hair. And as a result of not clipping nails in who knows how long, she’s sporting a pretty nice gash along her neck, courtesy of Audie-Bear, that closely resembles a high school hickey. Bad Momma Bean!
WINNER OF THE MOTHER OF THE WEEK AWARD
NOT Momma Bean who failed to see the potential damage of letting her Beans rock out (full volume) to The Beastie Boys, courtesy of Jurgen’s mama. She even taught A Squared how to sing the chorus of “So Whatcha’ Want.”
WINNER OF THE MOTHER OF THE WEEK AWARD
Not Momma Bean who, while watching Her Royal Pie-ness engage in her first full blown temper tantrum*, calmly wondered if it is possible that demonic possession actually exists.
*Note to self: Do not offer liquids to a child during a temper tantrum unless you are (a) on your beautifully tiled kitchen floor; or (b) planning on shampooing your carpet in the near future.
I’d like to thank the Academy…
Since it is “awards season” I thought it might be nice to give an honorable mention to the supporting cast, whose tireless work and devotion has helped to make our lives, as beans, so wonderful.
Duckie
Likes: Kisses from Audrey.
Dislikes: The washer & dryer.
Hero: Audie A.
Favorite color: Buttercup.
Cookie Monster
Likes: Wrestling with Maggie.
Dislikes: Being forgotten.*
Hero: Pinocchio.**
Favorite food: Goldfish.***
Maximus
Likes: High chairs.
Dislikes: Sharing a pillow with a Bean.
Hero: Momma Bean.
Favorite time of day: Bedtime.
Avery
Likes: The top of the couch.
Dislikes: Toddlers.
Hero: Avery.
Favorite television show: Nanny 9-1-1.
*Technically, the current Cookie Monster is Cookie Monster the Second.
**J instructed that I explain that Cookie wishes he would become a real boy, like Pinocchio.
***I bet you thought I was going to say cookies. You’re wrong.
WINNER OF THE MOTHER OF THE WEEK AWARD:
Not Momma Bean, who put her Beans to bed exactly thirty-one minutes before their normal bedtime in order to watch the much anticipated season premiere of 24 in peace.
WINNER OF THE MOTHER OF THE WEEK AWARD:
Not
Momma Bean who, when invited to a cookie exchange by Amanda and her twins, failed to properly read her recipe, obtain all of the ingredients and resorted to whipping up a batch of tube-dough cookies* instead of from-scratch cookies, thoroughly embarrassing her Beans in front of their friends.
*They tasted damn good though!
