Potty Hell

So, I haven’t been around for a few weeks. It was a combination of things traumatic and dramatic, not the least of which was my laziness. I needed a break and even contemplated shutting down completely. But then I remembered why I began this little page. I wanted to keep my sisters in the loop, who were miles away and, although a daily part of the Beans’ life, still wanted MORE. (And, which I was reminded of in daily emails from both of them.) It was also an alternative to a baby book, which I had started with every good intention of a new mom, but which suffered immensely under my less than creative hand. In the past month or so, I hadn’t written down things that had been going on with the girls. Things that, in the span of their lifetime, would be insignificant, but as individual, singular moments, were breathtaking, hilarious, heart-warming and silly. And I was losing them, by not writing them down.

But this morning, I am here for help. With a 32 oz. coffee in hand and toothpicks holding up my tired lids, I can barely put together coherent sentences. Audrey isn’t sleeping. Well, she is, but not consistently, not soundly. And, therefore, neither are we. I think it started around two weeks ago when she caught a cold and when I started becoming more determined about potty-training. Because of her asthma, her coughs seem more alarming to us. At the slightest sound, we are in their room to check on her and to make sure she is not in any distress. One evening, we were concerned enough to administer an emergency dose of her asthma medication. She quickly got used to the formula, crying + coughing = cozy on the couch with Momma and Daddy. She’s a smart cookie.

During the same time, I began researching pre-schools in the area and was beginning to realize that I really only had six months to train these girls if I wanted them in the school I had preferred or, if I chose another, if I didn’t want to pay an extra $70 per child. So, I stepped up my efforts, which, up to that point basically consisted of weekend training, if we weren’t going out, and daily pep talks about how wonderful it would be to live diaper-free. Now, I was determined. Every day when I picked the girls up from their grandmothers’ houses, I would remove the diapers and put them into their “big girl undies”. We’d talk about how cute they looked, have a dance party and have pow-wows in the bathroom every half hour. On the first day, Audrey had an accident in the living room. We talked about it. I didn’t scold her at all; I just explained what an accident was and how we should go potty in the bathroom, not the living room. From that point on, she did not have another accident.

She also never went potty in the big girl potty.

She was holding it. She would go from 3:30 p.m. until 8:30 p.m. without using the bathroom, without an accident, nothing. I pumped her full of liquids and that still didn’t do a thing. Oh, she had the urge. Every hour or so, she would grab herself and say, “Momma, I need to go potty!” and we would run to the bathroom and hope for a miracle. But after five minutes of coaxing and singing, she’d shake her head, pull up her undies and scoot out the door. This pattern repeated throughout the day and she never actually went.

At the beginning, she’d doze off soon after she was put to bed. By 9:00 p.m. she’d wake and call out to us to change her diaper. It was always full and we wouldn’t be surprised when she awoke a half hour after that to let us know that she had just pooped too. Now, she doesn’t want to go to bed. As soon as we shut off the lights, she begins wailing. At first, we would pick her up, rock her, bring her downstairs and hold her until she fell asleep. But the sleep wouldn’t last. After putting her to bed at 11:00 p.m., she’d wake again, crying to be held. Last night I sat with her on three different occasions and Jim tried a couple of times.

After discussing it with DaDa last night, I’m sure that it’s her urge to go to the bathroom that is waking her up. She’s anxious about it and she can’t fall into a deep and comfortable sleep because of it. I guess I’ll ease up on trying to potty-train her and focus on Maggie right now, who is eager and willing to learn. I don’t know what else to do. I hope that by not pressuring her (which, I didn’t think I was doing…thank goodness I didn’t take my friend’s suggestion to try Boot Camp Potty-Training!) we’ll get back to some sort of normal sleep pattern. Soon. Because right now, my eyes have so many bags under them, I could pack a week’s worth of clothes in them!