Rejection
Maggie doesn’t love me.
She’s said so on more than one occasion. And it’s happening more frequently. She wants nothing to do with me. She wriggles out of my grasp; she won’t look me in the eye. She’s openly defiant. She’s two.
Audrey has a much gentler, democratic way of indicating her preference in parents. When Daddy Bean is gone, I’m her moon, her sun, her everything. She asks to call me when I am gone. When I walk through the door, she squeals in delight and runs full speed into my arms. When I swoop her up, she greedily hugs me, as if she hasn’t seen me in days, rather than a few short hours. I feel loved.
When he is there, she squirms away from me and burrows into his shoulder. Who wouldn’t? He’s got great shoulders! And I don’t mind it too much; it doesn’t hurt because I know what little time they have with him and I always feel a tinge of pride as I watch her idol worship from the sidelines.
Maggie, on the other hand, is a bit colder with her feelings. When she sees me, if she even looks up from what she is doing, gives me only half a glance. Sometimes she’ll ask, “Where’s Daddy?” as if the Work Fairy dropped off the wrong parent. In the morning, when I am getting her ready for the day and it is still too early for either of us to be reasonable, she will scream in anger at even my slightest touch. She refuses to let me take her out of her car seat, if J and I are both in the car. She won’t let me kiss her good-night.
The other day, while she was trying to escape my hold, I asked her if she loved me. I know it was silly of me and that she’s only a child throwing a tantrum, but when she repeatedly sobbed, “No, I love Daddy! I love Daddy, not Momma,” I welled up with tears.
I can’t help that it hurts my feelings when she rejects me. In the end, I realize that she’s just being a toddler and that it’s nothing personal. Actually, I’m quite thrilled that the Beans have such a loving relationship with their father – it reminds me of the one that me and my sisters have with our dad. But I’d love to go back to the old days when Maggie was my girl and I was hers.
January 15th, 2008 at 11:34 am
awww, Jeannie…..Of COURSE she loves you….She is totally just being a dramatic toddler…..I know it was not supposed to be, but your story was so funny and adorable….I love how much they love Jim. I know if I had a girl it would be the same way, Daddy’s Little Girl. I would be SOOOO jealous too. :).
January 15th, 2008 at 11:49 am
I think they all go through stages like that - I know my girls did. And they see how it gets to you, which makes it even more fun… For them, that is - not you. It’s not fun at all for us moms. Probably one of those things that’s preparing us for the teen years though - I have the feeling that we’re going to be getting a lot more in the way of rejection then!
I hope she comes back around to being a Momma’s Bean again soon!
January 15th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
Oh, Momma Bean. You’re not alone. Callie loves her Daddy so much any sort of discipliing I do, she just wails for him. They cuddle, they chill, they play and I’m just the doormat. Foreshadowing to the teen years perhaps?
L is my A and C is my M…interesting.
January 15th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
Poor Mommabean!!! Mag’s LOVES YOU!
January 15th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
My Jack Jack keeps switching his allegiances. Sometimes it even depends on the time of day. But, one day he can be all mine and then the next, all he wants is dad.
January 15th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
It must be the age. Victoria will be 2 in March and she is doing the same thing! It started about 2 months ago, out of nowhere, she started crying for daddy to put her to bed and get her up. Its so heartbreaking for me, so I feel your pain!
January 15th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
Poor Momma Bean. But its a phase. A few weeks/months from now you’ll be the favorite parent.
We went through a period of this a couple of months ago where they just wanted daddy. But now both Ali and K are mommy’s biggest fans. Just yesterday when they woke up crank from their naps they were both clinging to me while screaming at the top of their little lungs “I want Maaaammmmy!”
January 16th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
Looks like this is common…have you asked mom if we ever did this? Hmmm….Im sure!