Just Say No.

Dear Photography Place Specializing in Photographing Children:

Do you see the exhaustion in my eyes? The slump in my stature? Do you see my frizzy hair, my threadbare shirt? My scuffed shoes? My thin wallet?

I have young children. Twins. Girls.

I’m broke!

Don’t entice me with your $9.99 package special offer just to get me through the doors, clasping your hands in anticipation as I begin to fold like a deck of cards.

Don’t peddle your fares before my tired eyes, knowing that I can’t resist those enchanting smiles, the mischievous smirks. You push my drug like you’re standing on the street corner, hidden in shadows with the goods I want.

You with your enchanting backdrops and adorable props! You confidently start out with the $599.00 package (no…that was not a typo), complete with personalized notecards, darling vignettes and sepia overload. You see the look of shock in my eyes and you assure me that there are several packages to suit my “needs”. You force me to remove some of my favorites (but they are all my favorites!), which makes me feel like I’m rejecting my own children. The price drops a few dollars. My heart sinks because I know that I will have to get rid of more of the beautiful photos of my Beans.

This goes back and forth a few more times. You sadistically remove one photo at a time, painstakingly needling my mommy guilt until I can take it no more. I finally confess to you that I understand that your job is to sell me a large, expensive package and that I appreciate the wonderful work you have done in capturing the beauty of my Beans, but I have a specific budget that I am working with and I will not falter, no matter how many free collages you throw my way.

Sure, I left spending $100 more than I had originally planned on, but you won’t get me next time, you sly fox you. I know your game and I am not going to play it anymore!

So, for Christmas, can you lay off the guilt a little bit?

Yours truly,

Momma Bean